mirror of the soul

wednesday 18th july @ 9:10 p.m.

as this life passes me by i see many things. observing the world is underrated.

my senses fill my subconscious to overload with moments that i will never recall.

i realised today that i don't remember the colour of her eyes. after so many years. is that because i have never looked into her eyes. scared of what i might see. of what she might see. they say the eyes are the mirror of the soul.

tomorrow when she comes i will look. i will see. i will remember.

i'm scared for tomorrow. scared for now. fear outlines my every move. fits my mind like a glove so well. but leaves me restricted and inflexible. unable to move without caution and careful precision.

to remove the glove requires assistance. a gentle caressing aid to free my thoughts, my actions.

tomorrow i will meet J and we will struggle to be free together. we will try to understand each other. listening, wondering, worrying. hoping.

i will be travelling in her company, although our physical journey is mapped out, our emotional progression remains a mystery. an unread book.

i am hopeful. her picture relaxes in front of my eyes. my heart beats faster at the thought of her. i am at her mercy.

treat me gently babe. i love you.