the mirror crack'd

saturday 24th november @ 22:46

a lipstick mask provides a smile. i'm not sure if i'm hiding myself from me or from others.

empty promises graze my skin and i pop pills to try to stop their destructive trail through my bloodstream. my expectations of you and of the rest are low. yet i still hope that i will be surprised by a show of affection.

i look shamefully at my cropped hair in the mirror. it is hard to feel beautiful when you do not fulfil the desires of others. how strange it is to want approval, to know that to get it and the accompanying closeness i must conform not to my own ideals, but to someone else's.

reading: endangered species by louis baynard

hearing: groove collective, stevie nicks, vertical horizon

wanting: someone to come home to

fearing: i am not scared...