tearing holes

Friday, Jan. 06, 2006 @ 23:13

the colours of my world are changing. i'm trying to focus but all the goalposts have moved. i'm turning circles in a dream and i can't find the door anymore.

my shoulders hunched and tight against a winter cold, my head pulsing a beat that surely can't belong to my heart. i'm listening for the peace that will come but so far it has avoided me.

it must be close now. i don't know how much longer i can go without slipping. those grainy chemicals calling me back to them.

i don't know where to put myself today. and there is no one to tell me.

the itching is bad. i have cut my nails down so short, so i don't tear holes in my skin. or tear holes in my mind again.