one day it will be alright

Sunday, Sept. 23, 2007 @ 19:18

my reflection is red eyed again and begging for a happy ending. i'm tired of telling this other self that she deserves better and not understanding that it's been me all along.
they all knew of course. all the other girls, the warning signs were there. the one that reported the violent streak and the sudden absence of the one that left her childhood flute on the shelf. i never questioned why she left in such a hurry. maybe it was too late by then anyway. but i'm starting to see more clearly.
the one with the similar story says she understands. then tells tales of police and broken bones and 20 years of listening to the crack of another can opening. but by then i'm listening to someone else's hell, not mine.
how many more times can i forgive? how long before the change comes? until then we just keep doing our best. the best we can with what we have. and hope, hope that one day it will be alright.
until then, i come here when the going gets tough and the outlook blurry. i come for comfort and familiarity and maybe a little hope. but most of all, for the memories.