raindrops still taste like tears

tuesday 9th july 2002 @ 20:04

i missed you today amongst the raindrops. maybe it was the lack of clear vision that evoked memories of you. or the cold empty bed when i let my hair drip onto the pillow. maybe it was the emotional exhaustion after a lonely night shift of death defying medications. my image of you is old and tainted where it's been so long. despite this, i cannot hear you, see you, be near you. you will never live up to my expectations. and i think i'm right in thinking that you no longer want to. that's okay. i will never live up to yours.

hearing: whitesnake - starkers in tokyo

reading: smother by linda innes

wanting: let me have a holiday

fearing: the hunger than makes me vulnerable