no-one left to run to

monday 16th september 2002 @ 21:19

wishing i had the courage to call you. my comfort. but i can hear the negatives before i even ask. and i'm not sure if it's my voice or yours that halts my hand above the 'phone. and reminds me that i will only be disappointed to know that you are not there for me like you once were. no powerful symbols or ancient prayers can protect me from my own self doubt. i lean on myself, even though my grip is sometimes slipping.

reading: counter clock world - philip k dick

hearing: nine inch nails

wanting: back on the road, let me runaway

fearing: hmmm, nowhere to run to, or is that no-one