Dylan sang my song

Wednesday, Jun. 25, 2008 @ 22:06

i often feel like i am "tangled in blue". it is the colour of my mood changing and moving away from the brightness. It is when the clouds come over and the idea of myself gets blurry and hard to see. i am difficult to find even for myself. i am restless inside sometimes but the coming dark that rolls towards me, weighs heavy on me and keeps me down. it makes me smaller, harder to see, harder to hear. communication becomes impossible then unwanted. the blue muffles my thoughts as well as my surroundings. it suffocates and saturates until every cell of my body is stained and heavy and i can no longer stand. it fills my stomach in place of food and then my lungs in place of breath. wrapping around me, convincing me it is a safe warm blanket, comforting me with it's lies. in the end it always hurts and cheats. it cannot be trusted. familiar whispers call me over and again. do you hear it too?
it never leaves.

reading: my own words
hearing: how dylan got tangled in blue too
wanting: more time alone
fearing: secrets that are hard to keep