shifting sands beneath me

Friday, Dec. 30, 2005 @ 21:18

nausea constricts my throat tonight. the shaking seems a little less.i worked late today and managed okay. strangely to be at work is not so hard, distractions are a godsend while my mind is reeling with symptoms and obsessions. the only problem seems to be actually getting to work. memories of fainting in public and feeling sick on public transport haunt me when i leave the flat. the dizzyness persists and i fear the rising heat and intense sweating that pre-empt the fall to the ground.

the madness was only beautiful in it's creative depths. now i'm in limbo, neither mad nor sane. but hanging in a drug reducing fog with it's unstable warnings. the sands shift beneath me and i still can't find my ground. the footprints behind me are disappearing but neither can i see the horizon. maybe tomorrow.